One of my friends is dating my ex

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I don’t say this to judge or to blame, but I think it is important to be clear about what has been happening.

She will very likely be devastated and feel betrayed by her best friend and by the man she thought she had a lasting future with.

Don’t be an a-hole,” can prevent us from wondering, “What if . This sort of stuff happens more than you might think.

People often have a bad opinion of pursuing friends’ exes.

We end up having a great conversation, and try as we may, sometimes no amount of telling ourselves, “Pull yourself together, man! They likely have things in common and, even after the breakup, still share many of the same friends, and we’re all looking for love, right?

Like it or not, we find ourselves appreciating our buddies’ tastes in women (what can I say, great minds think alike! Say a friend of mine breaks up with so-and-so, and we run into her at a party. Guys and gals get to know their friends’ significant others in nonthreatening, no-pressure contexts and learn to appreciate what their friend liked about them.

From "he just doesn't get me" to "we're too different" to "why did we stay together THAT long," women tend to overanalyze past relationships.

However, the one thing that seems to be the unwritten rule among us is that we would never even consider dating our friends' exes. But now I realize this rule really needs more thought, because I believe there are two factors to consider before answering my girlfriend's Facebook question.

My best friend and I have been besties since the fourth grade. She was with this guy for four years, up until early May of this year, when he suddenly decided to break up with her. I started hanging out with him about two weeks later, at first thinking I was just being someone to talk to.

You’re into it, he’s into it, there’s some serious chemistry, and you might have stumbled upon something really special. In discussing this topic with my female friends, it seems to me that men are especially experienced in dealing with this dilemma.

Now, you’re faced with a most unenviable predicament: Walk away from someone who could end up being the love of your life, or put one of your friendships in jeopardy.

I'm torn between my own desire for lasting relationship bliss and my desire to preserve the most important friendship in my life. —Something Has to Give Submit Your Own Question to a Therapist Your friend is going to be hurt. When you made the choice to start hanging out with your best friend’s ex without telling her, that’s when you made the decision to hide your actions, and possibly your feelings, from her.

On some level you must have known that she would be bothered by it, and you chose not to tell her.

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